THE HEAVILIN HERALD
DECEMBER, 2006
It’s December......again. For some the thought of shopping,
cooking, eating, giving, receiving, family and friends is
exciting and something to look forward to. For others the
thought of any of these activities brings an immediate feeling
of depression....that time of year is here again.
Why am I spending the time to write this all out for you when I
have obviously said these same things before? I am taking the
time to write this because even though some look forward to the
holidays, each year the group grows that would just as soon skip
the holiday season. I know because I have been there. I am
writing this for my friends, Betsy, Margie, Karen, Jim and
Geordina, Gladys and Jerry, Orv and Jean, Randy and Lauren,
George and Linda, and hundreds of others who will be facing this
holiday season without a loved one who has always been there
before. I want to pass on some experienced advice to these
friends:
It is OK to change your “traditions” this year.
Your goal the first year should simply be to survive the
holidays.
Let your family know what traditions you want to keep and what
you want to skip.
Try some new things this year.
Have a friend do your shopping for you or shop via mail
catalogs.
Skip Christmas cards if the task seems overwhelming or send out
a simple notice of your loved one’s death.
Be good to yourself.
Take time to rest.
I also have some thoughts for those who are looking forward to
the holidays. Ask God to bring to your mind someone who is
dreading this holiday season. Ask God to show you what you can
do to help them survive the holidays. The suggestions and ideas
that work for you will vary, but here are a few ideas.
Take them some holiday goodies; they most likely will not have
the energy to bake anything for themselves.
Send them a special card that lets them know you are thinking
of them. I call these kinds of cards, “To comfort you at
Christmas” cards.
Offer to take their children shopping or offer to take them
shopping or do their shopping for them. All of the Christmas
music and decorations may be overwhelming to them.
Offer to go to church with them. Attending Christmas services
may be hard for them. The timing may be right for you to tell
them of the Christ of Christmas and the joy He can bring to a
heavy heart.
Remember those who are dealing with an “old” grief. It is
always nice to know that others remember our loved one.
I have something that I do for the newly bereaved each year.
All year long, when someone dies, I write their name in the back
of my prayer journal. Then at the holiday season, I buy lovely
picture ornaments that are generally available in large
department stores or Christmas shops. I insert a picture of
their loved one, send a personalized card with it, and let them
know their loss is not forgotten. If I don’t happen to have a
picture of the deceased person, I include simple instructions in
my card suggesting that a picture be inserted and the gift be
used as a tree ornament.
Just this week I received an e-mail from a reader of Roses In
December. He said that each year at Christmas time since 1987 he
and his wife have given the book and a dozen roses to a bereaved
family. What a beautiful act of kindness.
Did you know that The Compassionate Friends sponsors a
World-Wide Candle Lighting ceremony every year? All you need to
do is light a candle in memory of a loved one at 7:00 pm your
time on the second Sunday of December which is December 10 this
year. Let the candle burn for one hour. Invite a recently
bereaved friend to join you. You will be joining hundreds of
thousands as they remember, too.
Now for the local news!
We are doing fine and have adjusted to being “residents” of
South Dakota. We are also adjusting to new doctors and new
health insurance. I went through a sleep test at a sleep clinic
recently and now I think I am done with testing for this year. I
just received a personal phone call from my new doctor in
Indianapolis. That call was much appreciated. My pulmonary and
heart stress tests turned out just fine. I find it amazing that
I can be in such great health and feel so dumpy.
We spent Thanksgiving with Matt and family, and left Missouri
on November 25. Kate was home from college and we were happy to
see her again since our last visit was very short.
We plan to arrive in Tombstone on Saturday, December 2, and
will be in Rocklin with Mike, Mellyn, and Christian for
Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. We will then return to
Tombstone until about the 9th of January when we will drive our
home on wheels to Morro Bay, CA for two months.
We wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Wise Men
Still Seek Him!
May your holidays be gentle and your New Year peaceful!
Nate, Kate, Caleb, and Grandpa and Grammie Heavilin